This is a bit ‘wo is me’, so you’ll have to forgive me.

We reconnected after his relationship breakdown having first met in school. We’ve drifted in and out of each other’s lives over the years, but over the last 12 months, he’s become my best friend. My favourite person to spend time with.

I love being in his company. It’s so easy to just ‘be’.

We are very different and I enjoy getting to see things from his perspective. He encourages me, and has introduced me to many experiences that I’d have lacked the confidence to try alone.

Anyway. While I thought that we were close, I found out from a mutual friend that he was dating someone. And when I asked him about it, it was dismissed as a non conversation. And as I’ve pieced things together I realised I’ve been lied to for months.

I called him out on this and he apologised. I believe it was sincere and I accepted that apology.

I’m happy for him, truly. But I was lied to and i’m struggling to get over the change in our friendship.

It’s actually causing me a great deal of anxiety because I feel like I’ve been used to fill a female void in his life until he has found someone else.

Logically, I know it’s none of my business what he does with his time, but my feelings continue to be hurt daily when I can feel the change in the way we communicate (or don’t).

I know a new relationship takes up time, I understand I’m not a priority. But he is changing and I feel like I don’t recognise him anymore. Things he was so against he’s now embracing. Maybe that’s a good thing. I don’t know.

I needed to write it down. Get it out of my head. Hopefully it’ll make it easier for me to move on. Friendships are fleeting after all.